Monday, March 5, 2012

Carpe Diem 9

My day started off on the wrong foot and I've felt off all day long.  This is how it started: my alarm went off, I turned it off, rolled over, and promptly fell back asleep.  Exactly 3 minutes later I wake up startled and confused and realize I'm rocking and rolling.  My husband and I look at each other and realize it's an earthquake.  I, the native Californian, am freaking out wondering if we should brace ourselves in the doorway and grab our cat.  My husband, native midwestern, says it's no big deal and to go back to sleep.  I oblige and end up sleeping in until the last moment before I'll for sure be late to work.  (I find out later that rock and roll earthquake was a 4.3.)

By some miracle I make it to the train station as I see the sign indicating my train is approaching and race up the stairs.  I'm thinking how lucky I am to catch the train in time.  I reach the platform panting.  No train.  My 8:11 am train never shows.  By the time the 8:18 am ambles into the station it's already full.  Standing room only.  Sigh.  I'm able to snag a seat 20 minutes later.  Good, because my back is starting to ache.

I'm able to sneak in to my 9 am Monday morning meeting before it's started, so I'm not "late."  Phew!

The rest of the day is a blur of editing, printing, filing, and emailing.

I come home, watch some tv, pick my husband up from the train station, grab some Taco Bell and head home.  My husband's going to have to work some more tonight, so it's a quick meal.  We get a call that someone's on their way to pick something up from our place.  It's a race to tidy up the apartment so it doesn't look too trashed when they get here.  I'm washing the last dish as our visitor stops by.  After he leaves I tackle the mountain of laundry on the bed that needs folding and putting away.  Amidst the pile I sit down, over come by all the thoughts swimming in my head.  The doubts, worries, stressors come to the forefront and my eyes get watery.  Today it just feels too overwhelming.

Okay, time for a break.  I seize the moment and head down to the hot tub.  Still in a pretty angry mood.  The water's nice and hot.  I lean my head back and stare up at the nearly full moon.  It's so beautiful.  A bit of peace enters my heart.  There's a mist passing across the moon casting a halo around it.  It reminds me of an all seeing eye.  I let my thoughts wander and think about all the things stressing me out.  I feel the knot of stress loosening bit by bit as I let myself think things through.  About 20 minutes later I feel like myself again.  Nothing's changed in my life, but I feel recharged and push those worries back.  They are after all worries, nothing I can do to change them.

Lesson of the day: seize a break when you need it.  Better yet, seize it before you need it.  Looking back at my day there were so many times I could have taken that break to recharge (on a run before work, on a walk at lunch, mediate when I got home from work, etc.).  Had I done that, I wouldn't have gotten so strung out by the end of the day.

This picture of our cat has absolutely nothing to do with the post.  Except, it makes me smile to remember how tiny he used to be.

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